Are you wondering if the spark is gone in your marriage?
You are about to discover the secret to creating the relationship of your dreams.
When it comes to relationships, most of us are winging it. When we fall in love, we feel an all-consuming joy in the presence of our partner. It’s like we found our "perfect match”. We always want to be together, and always put our best foot forward. But as we start to incorporate this new relationship into the realities of our daily lives, the relationship seems to shift.
We wake up from the trance of infatuation, finding that the qualities in our partner that once seemed so perfect have begun to annoy us. And unfortunately, friction is natural once we run up against each other's differences. Our personal baggage (on both sides) starts to creep in, and we may find ourselves struggling with wounded feelings, emotional withholding, and conflict. As these continue or escalate, it can lead to stonewalling, and eventually apathy.
There’s no denying it: developing and maintaining a happy and healthy relationship can be challenging. But it doesn’t have to be.
The growing field of research into relationships is increasingly providing science-based guidance into the secrets of the happiest couples. Not only are they digging deeper into what makes happy couples “work”, but into how to apply it to struggling couples successfully.
When I began specializing in couple’s coaching, I saw that the science of love and relationships could be married with the art of coaching to create something powerful, and most importantly, extremely effective at helping couples heal their relationship and have what they truly want in it. It boils down to fundamental lessons, proven strategies, and practical techniques. That is why I developed Relationship Evolution.
One of the most important things we’ve learned, something that totally stands out in all of the research, is that the secret to having a loving relationship and to keeping it strong and vibrant over the years is love habits.
Love Habits are the key.
No couple is perfect. All couples fight and go through times of frustration and disappointment. In fact, in both successful and toxic relationships, 69% of arguments don’t get resolved. But what successful couples have that unsuccessful couples are lacking, is the right habits.
Successful couples tend to naturally connect, create positivity, and give admiration. They do small things like greeting each other, being appreciative, and finding ways of helping each other. They have habits that reflect the Three Ace’s (affection, admiration, and assurance). These might seem like obvious things to do in a relationship, but why don’t people practice them?
The Three Ace’s
Affection- habits that reflect affection will build a better intimate life. This is also the foundation of passion and romance.
Admiration- habits that reflect admiration help you build respect and empathy for your partner.
Assurance- habits that reflect assurance help build trust and commitment. This is the foundation of a positive future for the relationship.
These habits build like a bank account does- as you add to it, it grows. But the opposite is also true. If you are lacking some of these habits, it makes withdrawals from the account. The lower the account balance is, the harder it is to make repair attempts in the relationship when negative things happen. This creates a catch 22 scenario, where the more negative the account balance becomes, the harder it becomes to repair things, which makes the balance even lower, and so on.
If you are finding that your relationship account balance is running low, tune in tomorrow, and let's start building those habits!